


the black heart of innocence

by smarky



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: (Slightly), Fae & Fairies, M/M, Magic, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-07 19:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19215979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smarky/pseuds/smarky
Summary: Zack searches for fairies in the woods."How beautiful is the black lascivious purity in the hearts of children and wild animals...” - Proverb





	the black heart of innocence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reason_says](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reason_says/gifts).



Zack entered the forest with freshly cut thyme sewn into his jacket, so as to better perceive the fairies. He hadn’t told the other magicians, never mind the people in his building, where he was going. The former group might try to stop him, deride him for his arrogance, ask him what he thought he was going to accomplish alone in the territory of the force that had been devastating their town for months. Maybe they would think he had finally found his usefulness, as a sacrificial lamb that might amuse the fairies enough to leave the town alone for a couple weeks. And the latter group would fuss and mourn and take turns blocking the doors, probably. He didn’t want to have to fight with them, especially not when so many were already ill. So Zack left alone. No one was going to come to save him. 

In truth, he had no idea what he could accomplish alone. But Zack had become frustrated, with their petty attempts at protection, with their failure to predict where the fairies would attack, with the increasingly lethargy and missing person reports that had swept over the town. Something new had to be done, and Zack wasn’t going to sit around waiting for someone else to do it. 

It was difficult to see anything in the darkness of early morning. For light, he had a small swathe of fire across his palm, but the moon and the fireflies also guided his way. Zack was attuned to his other senses: the shuddering howl of wind past his ears, the smell of damp earth, owls calling to each other in the distance, the vague chattering feeling Zack got from the minds of the insects drawn to his flame, the crisp fall of his steps against the ground, the brush of twisting tree branches against his arms, beckoning him towards them… Zack almost jumped out of his skin and tripped on a fallen branch when some mysterious small creature bolted past him. 

Every moment Zack stayed in the forest, the feeling in his gut grew stronger, that instinctual desire to run, to get out while he could, to return to the safety of his pad on the floor and sleep knowing the world would keep going without him. But he refused to be a puppet of his instincts, so he carried on. 

Even so, Zack began to grow tired of grasping for something that didn’t seem to be there. His gut screamed danger, but where was it? If he turned back now, he could claim he went on a walk around town to anyone who noticed his absence. Zack and the other magicians would come up with some new plan or make some new discovery and things would carry on without his foolish-- 

Zack passed a patch of flowers and the air pressure suddenly rose. He stopped. Took several steps back. A pile of glowing gold coins were nestled in the flowers. 

One kick to the coins and they fell away, rustling softly like leaves. 

Fairies were nearby. 

There was already so much trepidation in Zack that there wasn’t much change in his pounding heart or his trembling limbs, instead an overwhelming jolt of excitement shot through him and propelled him forward, away from his old path and through the flowers. 

Within the branches of one of the trees ahead of him, Zack could almost make out the outline of a person. When he got close enough to really know what it was, the outline had vanished. Had anything been there, or was Zack imagining it? 

Still, the air was heavy, and strange creaking sounds followed Zack as he went. 

Zack reached out to lean against a tree trunk and his hand came around fabric, or something that felt like it, before it was snatched out of his hand, leaving nothing but tree bark. 

Someone was there. 

Zack stopped walking to listen for footsteps. Silence. 

Then there was a thud, as if something heavy had dropped from one of the trees farther ahead. Zack hurried to reach it, and saw nothing but grass in the dirt below. 

He glanced up and there was the dark outline again, standing next to a rock far ahead of him. 

Zack didn’t move, just watching. The outline stayed static. Zack fingered his jacket, pressing against the places on the sleeves and the vest where the strongest magic was inlaid, and strode ahead. His jacket was the source of all of his magical abilities, allowing him to channel the magic in the atmosphere in ways humans weren’t naturally capable of. It rarely failed him. 

Coming closer, Zack saw a blurry white face, gone flickery at the top as if it were in flames. Then the outline vanished again like it had never existed. 

What was Zack going to have to do to confront the fairy playing with him? It was as if some itching attraction was under Zack’s skin, driving him to do anything just for another glimpse. He would do anything. 

There were more rocks, so Zack continued along them, touching each one hoping he’d feel something beyond cold stone. The sky was faintly beginning to color.

At the center of the rocks was the grim open mouth of a cave. The air pressure had become choking. Zack could barely control his body. 

There was the outline. But it wasn’t an outline, it was a person. They stood turned away from Zack, mist floating around their long legs. Their clothing was all black, except for swirling gold accents. Their head was unnaturally white, as if cut down to the bone. 

The person’s head turned to the side. They were all bone. They looked like a strange sort of skeleton, the edges of their head billowing up into flames, but their hands were normal tanned skin. 

Deafening silence. Zack took a step forward, and they allowed it. “Good evening,” Zack said clumsily. 

The person’s shoulders shook briefly, as if they were laughing, but Zack only thought he heard a huff of breath. 

“I don’t want to intrude--” The person beckoned Zack forward with their hand.

Zack took a few halting steps forward, then a few more. 

He probably shouldn’t have been getting close enough to touch. 

“It was nice meeting you,” said the person, in a low, smooth voice. 

They shoved Zack. He plummeted down the cave shaft. Bright red filled his vision. 

 

Zack woke up in a cage of thorns. 

What had come over him after he saw that fairy? They had to have been a fairy, right? Zack was usually good at shrugging off compulsions, they were one of his specialties after all, but that one had devoured him so completely he didn’t register it happening. 

Zack’s whole body ached, but as he examined himself he noticed no injuries. Interesting. There must have been something done to him that cushioned his fall. 

It made sense that Zack would be captured like this. The gnarled mess of thorns that formed a circle around him made sense too. Zack knew at least one of the fairies who attacked the village used plant magic. 

What didn't make sense was the betrayal crawling up his throat. He couldn't expect to be treated any different by a fairy, by a stranger. Maybe some of the compulsion was still active, drawing Zack towards that fairy even in their absence, but it didn't seem like it. 

Well, Zack needed to escape, obviously. And then maybe he could burn the whole place down. 

Zack snapped his fingers and a lick of fire popped up. He held it near the thorns, but they didn't burn. Zack dropped to the ground and traced patterns of runes (that hopefully he was correctly remembering) around him. It took a few minutes of concentration and some fixes, but at last the thorns unraveled on one side and fell away, leaving Zack with a hole large enough to escape from. 

Either they hadn't anticipated capturing a magician, or they didn't care if he escaped. Zack wasn't sure which possibility was better. 

He was in some kind of cavernous tunnel system. There was some light, although Zack had no idea where it was coming from. In a way it felt like he had stepped out of one cage into another. 

There was no real way to know which direction to turn, so Zack picked at random and went left. He kept close to the wall and tried not to let the constant dripping of.. hopefully water bother him. There was something foreign in the atmosphere, like faint heralding bells in the distance, that made Zack certain this was the fairy world. 

He wondered if he would ever find his way home again. Zack sighed and immediately felt silly for it. Home… He had thought the town to be his home for a while. But the way the others reacted to him had become too troubling to ignore. 

Zack's focus in magic had always had to do with the mind, and with feeling. Some people called those things sadistic, but Zack thought it was the purest magic there was, not channeling magic into a desire, but having the magic itself be the desire. Testing the limits, learning every possible way Zack could contort a person's mind, that was what Zack loved. 

So yeah, maybe he played around with people from time to time, made them get hot during a petty argument, or gave them unexpected images, or "tapped at their shoulder" from across the room. That wasn't so bad, it wasn't like he was unfriendly or cruel, there was no need to treat him like there was something wrong with him. 

It didn't help that Zack had only been in the town for a couple of years and most of the others had been there for much longer, if not for life. He had trained here humbly like everyone else, but he was a traveler at heart, and maybe they could sense that. 

Zack reached a turn in the tunnel. His eyes strained and watered to accommodate the decreasing light. Zack pushed up the collar of his jacket, feeling the bumps of the gems underneath in preparation for what might come to pass. 

Metal rattled and clanged up ahead. Zack came into the cavern and found a fairy in a prison cell. They had an unkempt beard, a chained collar around their neck with a leash hanging limply to the side, and eyes as empty as a pool of cave water. With their every motion came piercing waves of power, of rage too great to be tethered by reason. 

The only thing keeping Zack from being ripped to shreds was those cold iron bars. 

At once Zack remembered laying on his back in a pile of other magicians, their weak cold iron weapons fallen around them. Ancient art vanished from the local church, and there was nothing the magicians could do but cede to the demand for offerings tacked in their place. 

This fairy didn’t seem like someone Zack could blame for that. It was time to move on and face the rest of them. 

There were a few more empty cages scattered around the cavern. Then another tunnel, this time one with an undeniable scent of life that made Zack hope he was close to resurfacing. 

At the top of a steep incline was a golden door. 

It didn’t require much strength to open, or even magic. Zack supposed there wasn’t usually a risk of outsiders trying to get through. 

It felt great to be breathing fresh air again. 

Beyond the shrubbery Zack was surrounded by, a tremendous building towered over him. He circled around the building, examining it. The structure reminded him of a chimera, several different types of houses pressed in on different sides to form one unit. There was even a small house poking out from the roof. 

Somehow Zack knew this wasn’t where he needed to be yet. 

He kept going beyond the building, ducking around rocks and statues and stray trees, until he reached a cliff. Beyond it was a bustling town, one all to familiar to Zack. At first glance it could have been an exact replica of the one he had been living in. 

So this place was like a parallel version of the human world. 

Something tugged at the back of Zack’s mind like ripping a seam. 

Magic. 

He had been discovered already! 

Zack chased the feeling, whirling around physically to see if anyone was around him. 

Then his vision blacked out. 

Zack flung his own magic at where the source seemed to be coming from, panic overtaking him. He should have known opening the doors would have set off some sort of alarm. Or who knew what had happened, but Zack was in for it now. 

A dry chuckle. Zack’s vision returned in a rush. 

A man had appeared in front of him. His head was shaved in a curled pattern that matched the clothing of the fairy that had pushed Zack into this world. 

Zack knew, without a doubt, that this man was the king of the fairies. Dark, powerful magic dripped from him, like a century-long rainstorm. 

Zack threw a blanket of tiredness and apathy over the king’s mind, but the king sent back fear, a roaring compulsion to cower like a rabbit and take whatever he would give. Zack sliced into him the king with blunt growing pains, the illusion that the king’s limbs were stretching out of control, and the king raised an eyebrow and grew two entirely new arms from his side, skinnier and almost jagged compared to his originals. There was no air of glamour around them that Zack could detect-- the sensation of them squeezing his throat was very really before Zack was able to slip out of their hold.

The king tore out parts of the earth and hurled them around Zack, trying to trap him, but Zack darted around them for the most part, using up too much magic just keeping up his energy and avoiding the attacks. He hadn’t been hurt yet, though he was dirty and overwhelmed. 

Something heavy slammed into Zack’s spine, and he fell to his knees. He glanced back and there was nothing behind him, of course. 

The king pulled water out of the air, droplets forming heavy clouds that quickly flooded over and pooled on the ground. An ocean was around them in an instant. Waves smashed against Zack, the rising tide strong enough that he had to exert effort just to avoid being swept away. Zack jabbed at the king’s body with invisible, serrated knives, searching everywhere for weak spots, but the king barely flinched. So Zack shifted gears, lets the tide push him back a bit, and sent the sensation of dousing water over the king, escalating into drowning, hoping the king would wonder if he had made some mistake in his own magic. 

In that split second of distraction, Zack leapt across and swept the king's legs out from under him, hoping to shove him into the swathing ocean and drown him for real. The king fell into the water, splashing, and Zack struggling to wrestle away the king’s control over his body, pressing down hard on the king’s head to send magic straight into his brain. He needed to subdue the king long enough to run. 

The king looked up at him, eyes blurry. Zack was almost holding him there in the slowing tide. Water streamed down the king’s face. Why wasn’t Zack running? Some facsimile of a human smile formed on the king’s face, tightening and growing into a full grin, too many sharp teeth to be human. He was terrifying, aged and proud, and yet undeniably all the more handsome for it. Zack was mesmerized. 

That was when Zack's arms bent unnaturally behind his back, and his body was pulled into a crushing, unnatural curve by huge, ink black tentacles. Searing, white pain, the kind of pain one would do anything to escape, flayed his muscles. Panic bloomed in Zack's throat, he couldn’t be caught like this, he wasn’t the one who got caught. He did the first thing he could think to do. Zack gathered the last of his energy, and set his body on fire. It wouldn't burn any of him, of course, especially his jacket, but the tentacles flailed, clenching tighter at first and then retracting from him to douse themselves in the thinning water at their feet. One of his favourite bits of magic was making someone feel like they were covered in tentacles, but actually creating them… Zack struggled to get up, prepared to really run this time, when a gentle hand at his shoulder stilled him. 

It was such a gentle touch, Zack felt as vulnerable as a pressed flower, easy to crumble into a thousand pieces. 

"Wait." The king had a disturbingly soft voice. 

“Stay.” 

There was no magical compulsion behind those words. There didn’t need to be. The king’s presence alone made Zack want to kneel. Zack never truly had the king at his mercy, did he, he needed to attack again and run, hide and go over what he had seen, pull together a plan… 

“Who are you?” said the king. 

“Zack. Zack Sabre Jr…” 

“Zack. I don’t care why you’re here. Just listen.” Despite himself, Zack listened. He was too impressed by the king not to. “You interest me. I’ve been looking for someone who uses magic like you.” The king leaned in close. “Stay in my kingdom so I can fight you again.” 

Zack was stunned. The king knew nothing about Zack except that he was a human who had invaded his kingdom and attacked him. Yet he interested the king of the fairies.

“You can do as you please here. Everything that’s mine will be yours. And when summer withers into autumn, you can return to the humans. Are you wise? Will you take my offer?” 

This wasn’t what Zack had wanted. He was supposed to be burning this place down, not moving in! But it was… it was tempting. Zack could learn their motives and their weaknesses here, couldn’t he? He could turn the tide of this war, he could make the other magicians turn to him, indebted to his insights forever...

“So I live here with you for a season, and…” 

“And have some fights with me. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.” 

It felt too simple, too good to be true. Weren’t fairy deals usually tricks, with loopholes hidden in clever wording that trapped you between its teeth the moment you accepted? But here was still so much adrenaline in Zack, and he couldn’t help but want to get closer to the king’s magic, all its beauty and power… this was better than what he had thought would happen, this was perfect… 

“Okay. I’ll live here for the summer.” 

The king smiled again, more benignly this time, as if to tell him he had made the right choice. 

“Desperado found you, didn’t he? No need to waste resources. You’ll be staying with him.” Zack abruptly noticed the skull-faced fairy was watching them, laid back between two branches high in a tree above them. “Desperado, go prepare for our guest.” 

With that Desperado vanished. 

The king hadn’t been trying to stop him, had he? He had been testing Zack. Putting on a show. That should have felt humiliating, but instead Zack felt warm underneath all the sweat and exhaustion. There was something about the king that he felt a connection to, that felt fundamentally right, like an ancestor’s portrait so familiar you felt you were looking in a mirror. 

Zack sat against the rocks with the king for a while, just waiting. 

“Why did he… lead me through the forest, just to push me in?” Zack said eventually. He felt foolish as soon as the words left his mouth. It was obvious. 

The king shrugged. “He was hunting you. You were a human in our forest, you knew what was going to happen. He did what needed to be done.” 

Then they were told Desperado’s home was ready for Zack’s arrival. 

Zack hobbled up the long, spiralling staircase leading up to it alone. Puzzlingly, the stairs smelled like they had been freshly constructed. 

There was no greeting from Desperado when Zack came in. The home seemed like the type of place Zack was used to, with just one main room, and thankfully a sleeping pad that Zack immediately collapsed onto. 

"Well that was an avalanche of a day," Zack said into his hands. He shouldn’t have been showing weakness in front of a fairy like this, but he was too tired to stop himself. 

"I thought you were going to be killed, but you didn’t. Yet another disappointment," said Desperado. Zack could hear him moving around the room and pouring water. At least this bed was soft, and had so many blankets. He certainly wouldn't mind this part if he had to live here for the next season. 

"Really?" Zack was processing things too slowly. 

Desperado barked out a laugh. "No. We don't usually kill humans here."

Zack wasn't sure what to say to that. They certainly made humans disappear, stole their most precious things, hurt their livestock, and made them sick and exhausted… it was true, though, that no magician had ever been killed resisting the fairies. 

"Will asking questions be seen as rude? I don't want to offend you, or get…" Zack trailed off, not sure what terrible things would happen to him in the event of that.

Zack finally dropped his hands and saw Desperado glaring at him. That was what it felt like, anyway, it was hard to tell. “You’re the king’s guest. You can do what you want.”

So Zack asked Desperado basic questions-- where he could find food, how to use their room, the nature of the building, and so forth-- and got basic answers in response. Apparently every member of the king’s hand-picked army lived here, each in their own separate home. 

Then Zack asked if there were any places he had to be cautious around. 

“The forest. Obviously. And don’t go poking around the rest of the army’s homes unless you’re invited. Especially Taichi’s, stay far away from there.” 

"Yeah. Fine," Zack said flatly. 

Desperado came in front of him, a cup and teapot in hand. He looked so different in just a soft shirt and shorts. If it wasn't for his face, wrapped in a burning skull, he might have been a human man Zack had been sleeping with. 

"I made myself some tea. You might as well have some, if you want.” 

Their hands brushed as Zack took the cup from him. Zack let him pour in the tea-- it was light pink, scent refreshingly sweet in a way that somehow reminded him of doves. 

"Drinking this won't trap me in the fairy world?" 

"That's just a story to scare children," Desperado said, tone condescending. 

Zack took a sip, hoping he would immediately notice if something was wrong. The tea almost tasted like lavender, but that wasn't quite right. Either way, even just the steam felt wonderful, calming and renewing his mood in a way few other things could. Zack normally loved tea, but this was like a deep muscle massage. Yeah, he was probably fine. 

"Thank you." 

Desperado shrugged. The white fire on the top of his head curled through the motion. Something like a mass of strings on the back shifted too, like a stylized depiction of breeze. 

“How are you going to drink your tea?” Zack asked, then realized that was probably rude. 

Desperado wiped over the sharp teeth of his skull. He didn’t seem upset. If anything, he seemed amused. “Stay here.” 

Desperado disappeared through the doorway to what Zack had assumed was the bathroom. There was no door, only a thick curtain of braided vines. When he returned he stayed in front of the doorway, as if presenting himself for Zack’s observation. 

Now the whole area around Desperado’s mouth, rather than being bone, appeared to be human flesh. 

He had light stubble and a well-defined jawline. 

Why was that so attractive? 

Zack wanted to pinch himself, but instead he forced himself to tear his gaze away and take another sip of tea. 

“I wear a mask most of the time. Some of them, like this one, expose my mouth so I can eat and drink.” Desperado’s full lips moved to form the words. 

A mask that fused around your skin to look like it was your real face. Fascinating. 

Desperado picked up his tea and went to sit on one of the pillows around a low table at the other side of the room. Zack got up slowly, legs still weak from his fight with the king, and sat down on another. 

“Why do you wear a mask?” Maybe it drove people insane to see his bare face. Or maybe he was insecure about his appearance, but as amusing as the thought was, that seemed unlikely. 

“There’s different…groups...of fairies. Masks are a custom of the sky fairies my mother belongs to. My father, like the fairies down here, doesn’t do it. I keep my heritage by wearing one. And… I enjoy it. It terrifies people.” 

Desperado grinned, probably trying to scare him, but Zack wasn’t falling for it. 

How many groups must have been out there? How far did this go? There might have been a million towns like Zack’s. 

“Now it’s my turn. Why did you enter our forest? You had to have known what would happen.” 

None of it had to happen, Zack thought to himself. 

“That’s what the king said,” Zack said instead. 

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

“I knew there were risks, but I didn’t care. The magicians in this town don’t seem to understand that we’re going in circles. I couldn’t keep living life as a series of utter failures. So I went out to find a better way.” 

Desperado hummed sympathetically. “So, you decided to become a hero in an adventure story, that was thoughtful… No, your town was founded by the only survivors of a great flood, wasn’t it? Maybe it’s time for another one. No more ignorant magicians!” 

Zack decided to ignore that. 

“What happened to… the other humans, that disappeared?”

“They’re fairies in our town now. That’s how it goes if you stay here long enough.” 

A beat. 

“But it doesn’t happen if you resist it, so you have nothing to worry about.” 

Desperado said it like they all wanted to be in the fairy world. Zack guessed if they were still here and hadn’t been killed or released back home, that was a possibility. No one ever wanted to use resources to care for people if those people weren’t serving a purpose. 

Eventually Desperado climbed up and went to sleep in his cushioned hammock, and Zack pretended to do the same on his makeshift bed. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep right now, not with how much he had seen today, even if he was used to falling asleep in strange environments. He held himself still for about half an hour, turning things over in his head. 

This whole situation was too good to be true, really. How did the fairies not think Zack might destroy them? 

Zack got up and padded around the room, examining everything. 

There was a sort of kitchen area, space for a cooking fire and tools and supplies all neatly in place. Nothing sharp, though. Perhaps those items had been hidden. 

Then there was a small wardrobe, mostly containing the same black and gold clothing Desperado had been wearing when they… met. The few other clothes were brightly coloured and almost aggressively normal for humans. Zack suspected that was what Desperado used when he needed to blend into the human world, but who knew whether he took his mask off or merely put on another one for that. 

Then there were fishing implements (Zack sighed internally) and a large guitar that Zack was afraid to touch in case it woke up Desperado. 

Overall, it was nice. It was almost normal. 

Standing over Desperado, fast asleep and almost peaceful for it, Zack thought about going into his head in his sleep, strangling him, interrogating him, holding him hostage in his own mind… 

But no, he wouldn’t. The option was there if Zack needed it, but for now it would be better to wait. Who knew what torture implements he would discover, what hidden human farms… Zack’s lip curled up in disgust. He needed to be measured about this. There was no rush now that he had a path forward. 

The last thing to check was the set of doors at the back of the room. Zack unlatched the lock and opened one carefully-- thankfully it made no noise-- and slipped outside. Summer was just beginning, and the air felt wonderful. 

This side of the roof open space. Zack walked up to the guard rails and looked down at the town below, dark and quiet. He carried on, trailing his hand against the railing, until he reached the other side. 

Zack wasn’t sure what he was seeing at first. There was a kaleidoscope of colours and shapes… oh, it was plants. It was a garden. 

The garden was otherworldly. Lanterns were there to help illuminate the plants that weren’t made of light themselves. Orchids shaped like men and animals and angels, bulbous glowing blue eggs that were probably cacti, hanging trails of sharp-pointed succulents, green curls like a mermaid’s hair, and large bursts of roses, deep black like poison and red like the sun, some normal and others that were hollowed out like teacups … The amount of time and attention this kind of garden must have required was difficult to imagine. And who could it have been for, up here on the roof with no one to see it but Desperado himself? He didn’t seem the type to invite guests. 

The pleasing scent of it all was overwhelming, so Zack had to sit down, heart pounding strangely. 

There was magic in these plants and it mixed with his jacket’s, as if it was creeping into his heart itself and making a home there. It was warm magic, peaceful and inviting like Zack was sleeping in the clouds… It was Desperado’s magic, wasn’t it. It felt much the same as it did in the human side of the forest, when Zack couldn’t help but follow him.

It seemed Desperado had hidden depths. Did the rest of the fairies know how much care he had in him? 

 

Zack dreamed of the fairy forest. 

He lay there in the dirt, unconcerned with his position, just listening to the wildlife moving around him and breathing in and out, slowly, steadily.

Why was he here? 

It didn’t matter. 

Zack got up and stretched, examining his jacket in the forest light. 

As soon as he looked around him, he noticed things were different from when he had been here before. 

The forest itself hummed with magic now, exuded magic from its pores in a way Zack had never encountered outside of the holiest places in the human world. The creatures were subtly different, too-- Zack noticed deer with unnatural colouring and uncomfortably large antlers, mushrooms that blinked at him, and moss that had patterns of lines sliding up and down it almost in time with the wind. 

“Zack.” 

It was the king. They were in a clearing in the middle of the forest now. At the center was a fantastically large tree, perhaps the largest Zack had ever seen…

“Don’t go wandering for too long. Meet me here when you’re ready to fight.” The smile that trailed up the king’s face was jarring. 

Zack wanted to reach out to him, to grasp something he couldn’t explain-- 

He woke up.

 

Maybe Zack should have looked around the king’s home more before departing. Maybe he should have investigated the town more closely, too. But it was hard for Zack to shake the sense that he needed to be with the king, that he needed to fight him, that he needed to feel the touch of the king’s magic again like he was starving. It was just too beautiful. It was what Zack didn’t know he had wanted to find for so long, something that spoke to him so clearly, the kind of magic he had thought he would have as a child listening to legends and rumors… 

Finding his way through the forest wasn’t difficult, but Zack assumed that was because the king’s magic had left a sort of trail to guide him. Sure enough, he came upon the same clearing from his dream, and the king stood once again in front of the tree which reached for the heavens. 

“This tree is like a lock. It is what keeps us here, in this forest, rather than in the home where we belong,” said the king. Behind his conversational tone was thinly veiled rage. “I toil here for countless hours, channeling energy into it so that one day, I can free us from this place and return us to the war.”

“The war?” Zack echoed, feeling meek in the face of the king’s sudden gravity. 

“There are other kingdoms of fairies, not just groupings. One of them are our mortal enemies, who we have fought for lifetimes. They trapped us here, and I will make them pay for it. They are cowards, like insects rolling up to shield themselves from our blows, and they will pay.”

“And the energy--”

“Is drawn from you, yes. From the clash of magic, especially when we draw from the untapped well of the human world. So come fight me already.” 

Zack hadn’t had to search for long to find the fairies’ motivation after all. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? That they just needed the energy, that it was no personal grudge? It felt foolish to have been so offended by it now. But then, draining the town wasn’t right, no matter the motivation… 

There wasn’t much time to contemplate, because soon the king had drawn Zack into a visualization of fears. They clashed and clashed. Zack put the king into memories of animals being lined up in a slaughterhouse, gnashed apart and consumed. The king threw him on to a crumbling wooden bridge over a waterfall and launched up monsters from the depths to snap at his heels, to catch him in their jaws if he fell. It was more difficult to affect the king now that they had fought once, but that just made it all the more rewarding when he succeeded. 

When the king brought back the tentacles, this time tipped by what felt like bear claws, Zack knew he wanted to try to build with his own. But transforming his body like that wasn’t something he had experience in. Just getting little spikes to poke out of his hands was a struggle, and Zack’s energy was fading fast. 

The king noticed this, and subdued him just with an arm around his throat. Humiliating. All Zack had time to wonder before he faded was whether their fight had managed to produce much energy at all. 

Zack was lifted up and placed on a bed of flowers. It was surprisingly comfortable and firm, like a hug from an old friend. 

“This is where Desperado recovers after we spar,” said the king, almost sounding amused. “You did well. I can teach you that transformation.” 

Oh, that sounded wonderful. The king could probably feel his enthusiasm, so Zack didn’t bother repeating himself. “Did… Desperado make these flowers?”

The king nodded. “He was a talent for plants, one unmatched by any of the others.” 

It felt good hearing Desperado be recognized like that. Zack thought it would be unjust otherwise, was all. 

 

The fight had tired Zack out enough that he could barely make himself walk back to Desperado's home, nevermind explore more of the fairy world. He didn't want to go to sleep either, just relax, so he went through to the garden as soon as he returned. If anything, the plants were more beautiful in daylight, and Zack felt warmed in their embrace. 

He woke up a few hours later and saw the sky changing into evening. Someone was moving around him, pouring water in different places. 

Zack's eyes met Desperado's as he turned the corner to where Zack was nestled. He was trapped. 

"I'm sorry, I should have asked before coming here, I'll just go." Zack scrambled to his feet. 

Desperado was quiet for a while. Some instinct in Zack kept himself from leaving, so he just stood there awkwardly waiting for Desperado to say something. 

"It's fine. The plants don't mind."

Then Desperado continued watering as if nothing had happened. 

"You didn't wake me up," Zack mumbled. 

"The king completely knocked you out. I couldn't have if I tried." And Desperado was back to roughness. It was startling to observe the contrast between the mocking in his voice and the softness of his magic. 

"The same thing happens to you. I saw your flower bed."

"Not as much as before. How do you know about that anyway, start snooping around the king? Ask me directly if you want to know about me."

Fine, Zack had wanted a direct answer from Desperado anyway. 

"Why did you push me in?" 

"You came into our forest, you knew what was going to happen." He sounded irritated. 

Desperado was repeating almost exactly what the king had said before. Zack shook his head in disbelief. 

"Kidnap any more innocents in the forest today?" 

"No. There's been nobody there since you came."

So there wasn't anyone looking for Zack, was there? He had expected that, but it still made him feel emptied out inside. 

They sat together in silence for a while. Zack picked absently at the grass, thinking. The plant nearest to him smelled like dark chocolate and kept wrapping itself around his arm. He would have rushed to show any of the magicians if he found this in the human world. 

"Do you share this garden often? The others must want to come see it."

Desperado stopped in the middle of pruning. 

"No. I don't." he answered belatedly. 

Zack found that startling, but he said nothing. 

 

Exploring the town just confirmed what Desperado had said. He and the other fairies might have enjoyed hurting and taking from humans, but none of the ones here seemed in any way miserable or bewitched. They carried on their daily lives, working and eating and socializing with the fairies. Actually, Zack was almost impressed as he observed their society. Everyone seemed to own their homes, with no landlords or servitude. In fact, Zack had yet to see currency of any kind, only trading or simply gifting things. He supposed there just wasn't a need. 

One person in particular was someone Zack recognized. They had been a young woman in his town with an abusive partner and a family that expected her to stay with him. Now here she was, living free from it all. 

Maybe this was all a glamour. There was probably some sort of hidden torture dungeon in the tunnels. 

 

It only took a few more fights with the king for Zack to lose track of time. He knew he would know when it was time to return-- the temperatures would grow cold, the leaves would colour and fall-- but the passing of days blurred together. 

Eventually Zack did investigate the rest of the king’s home. It was easy to see which section was the dangerous Taichi’s. It took up as much space as perhaps ten or more replicas of Desperado’s home, and appeared almost like a foreboding gated castle in winter when you stepped too close. Zack caught glimpses of a woman skipping around outside it from time to time. She wore large, gaudy jewelry that made Zack shiver just to consider what might be trapped within it. But Zack never saw Taichi himself. He was probably observing Zack before he approached. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. But Zack knew that he hadn’t just been warned away from Taichi’s home for his own protection. Something had to be happening there that impacted the human world, and Zack was going to find it eventually. 

Meanwhile, Zack began to like spending time with Desperado. The more Zack talked to him, the more kindness and humour trickled out. It was fascinating. And, if he was being honest with himself, very charming, even though Desperado was an enemy. It almost seemed like he enjoyed Zack’s company. 

When he first arrived, Zack essentially scavenged for food in the forest and around town, bringing it back to cook when he could. Desperado did his own thing, probably eating with the other fairies in the king's army, and it was fine. It was workable. They didn't see each other much then. 

More and more often, though, Desperado began eating in their home instead of away, and Zack sat with him, neither of them talking at first, just existing in a silence that wasn't quite comfortable but wasn't quite uncomfortable either. 

One evening they happened to be outside at the same time while Desperado was picking root vegetables. 

"I'm going to have a lot more of this than I anticipated… if you don't have some too, part of it will spoil."

"Is that an invitation to dinner?" said Zack. 

"You're hilarious."

"If there's anything that came from an animal in what you're making, I can't eat it."

Desperado twisted to look at him and Zack shrugged unapologetically. 

"There won't be." 

Desperado asked Zack to pass him things from time to time while cooking his stew that night. Zack couldn't help but admire his hands as he chopped and stirred. The smell was incredible, too, unexpectedly airy rather than earthy in a way that ended up appealing. 

And then they did end up eating together. Zack couldn't remember the last time he had sat and had a meal with someone, just the two of them, without some dire circumstance hanging over both their heads. The stew was hot and delicious. Zack almost wanted to duck in his face into his bowl to avoid Desperado's steady gaze, but he didn't. 

"Why can't you eat things from animals?" Desperado asked halfway through the meal. 

"It's something I've chosen. Morally, I think it's wrong,” said Zack. “And having so much of it in the past made me very sick."

"I see." 

It didn't sound exactly like Desperado did, so Zack was surprised no mockery followed. 

"I eat a lot of fish."

"I've seen you have fishing tools." Zack didn't like it, and he didn't want to see it, but that was just how it was. 

"Not going to lecture me?" 

"Do you want me to?" It was worth a try. 

"Of course not."

"There's your answer." 

Desperado seemed to take time to think about that. 

From then on Zack sometimes came back to leftover food on the table for him, or sometimes when he and Desperado were together Desperado would give some stray remark that told Zack that they would be sharing a meal. 

It was convenient. It was nice. 

What was less convenient was how Zack kept catching himself watching Desperado to the exclusion of his surroundings. Zack often felt eyes on him when he was in the forest, which was a reason for vigilance in and of itself, and there were countless natural dangers he could stumble into too if he wasn’t being attentive. 

Even though Desperado wasn’t new to Zack anymore, it was hard not to be taken in by him. Not just because as the days grew hotter, Desperado wore less and less, but also because the way he moved was striking. Occasionally Zack was able to watch the tail end of one Desperado’s fights with the king. Desperado rarely won, but he held his own, and his brutal tactics were bitingly fun when you weren’t on the receiving end. 

Sometimes Zack saw Desperado travelling through the forest on his own. He would look up, and there was Desperado’s silhouette in the trees. 

One morning Zack had stopped to stare at Desperado next to a stream, when something like fluffy thread pressed up next to him. He stroked it absentmindedly, hand going higher and higher, probably up the long stalk of some magical water plant. Perhaps he should have felt wrong doing this, but it wasn’t like he had gone searching for Desperado, they just happened to be in the same place. Again. 

Desperado jumped down, vanishing from sight. Zack frowned and tried to make out where he had gone. 

Someone thrust themself in front of Zack. 

They shoved him far back behind them, away from the stream. Zack skidded against the dirt, trying to brace himself on a bush, and then pushed up back behind them. 

Oh. Next to the stream was a kelpie, its horse-like neck extended unnaturally to have allowed for his stroking. It was Desperado in front of Zack, vibrating as if he had just dashed to reach him. Zack felt like a complete fool. 

He could also feel Desperado’s firm back muscles. Zack gulped and immediately felt even more foolish for thinking about them. 

Zack could have just been taken away and drowned. This was a problem. 

“What were you doing? That was so reckless, are you a child?” Desperado backed off, finally. Zack could see him glaring at the kelpie, as if to encourage it to leave, which it did, haltingly and unashamedly. 

“Look, I’m aware. I was distracted.” 

“You really can’t afford to be. I’m not going to come save you every time.” Desperado crossed his arms and turned away, probably thinking about whatever task Zack had taken him away from. Zack wished he could see Desperado’s face. He could imagine the scowl he might have, at least. 

“Well… thank you for saving me this time.” 

Their eyes met. 

“It’s nothing. The king would have beaten me even harder without you around.” 

That was the only reason, huh. It wasn’t like Zack was sticking around here forever. 

But after that, Desperado started getting friendlier. 

Zack decided to make him a tea from home he had saved in a pocket of his jacket. It tasted like the sun rising, and morning dew, and the languidness of a royal family that was unaware of the grisly fate set for them at supper. Desperado sipped it discerningly, tipping his head back and forth as if in consideration. 

“It’s good. Not my favourite, but it’s good.” 

Zack scoffed sarcastically. “Just good!?” 

A week after that, Desperado gave Zack a cup of tea that had come from his own home. It was something like cinnamon and honey and rain, with a stinging aftertaste that was oddly satisfying, like a joint snapping back into place. 

When Zack asked Desperado about some of his plants, he got almost eager answers in return, though of course Zack would never use that word to describe Desperado to his face. It was cute how Desperado perked up describing the ways one could predict and poison and heal with just the thorns of a flower or the bark of a budding tree. Some of the effects were so subtle Zack thought they would make great practical jokes, and told him so, and they ended up spending an hour planning one on some hypothetical enemy that had both of them snickering. 

Zack was always searching for new magic to learn, and this was the perfect opportunity. Practicing it was even better. 

So when Desperado came back aching from a fight with the king than was harsh even for him, Zack knew what to do. He went through the garden, found the willowing cream bushes, and stripped off some bark from the topmost small branches. He knew just enough magic to speed along the process of soaking it in alcohol. 

Desperado had wide eyes when Zack returned with the strained bottle. 

“I followed what you said, so it should work, right?” 

“Yeah. If you didn’t do anything weird and ignore my instructions. Yeah.” 

Desperado took some. Zack did too, just to try. It tasted like fresh green grapes. Soon Zack felt like he was floating. What felt even better was how Zack caught Desperado glancing at him the whole night. The state he was in probably exaggerated how sincere Desperado’s thanks sounded in his mind. 

A few nights later Zack woke up in the middle of a dream and noticed Desperado’s hammock was empty. Some unnameable fear rose in Zack’s chest. What did he think, that Desperado was hiding, ready to hurt him? Or was he worried that Desperado was off doing something dangerous when the forest’s magic was at its strongest? Or even that… Zack’s inner voice petered to a stop. He was awake enough now to recognize that thoughts of abandonment were ridiculous. 

At the very least it was worth stepping out onto the roof to see if Desperado was there. 

As soon as Zack slid open the doors, he could hear music coming from somewhere outside. 

Desperado was sitting against the railing and playing on his guitar. A bottle of something, probably alcohol, was next to him. The song he played was inviting, like call to adventure, and yet melancholic at the same time. Zack could have listened for a long time, but Desperado stopped as soon as he saw that Zack was there. 

“Come sit with me,” he said, obviously drunk. The best solution Zack knew for that was to get drunk himself. 

Zack came over and plopped next to Desperado. Their legs pressed together. 

Desperado didn’t seem to mind. He was very warm. 

“Okay for humans?” Zack said, holding up the bottle. 

“Eh… it’ll hit harder. But you’ll be fine.” 

Zack took one sip, and then another. 

He realized Desperado’s lips had just touched this bottle. Zack’s stomach flipped. 

"What was that you were playing?" 

"It was… is something I wrote for the prince of… the other fairy kingdom. The one we were at war with, before they banished us."

"So the song is meant to hurt him or something?" 

Desperado laughed at that. He took the drink from Zack and swigged it. 

"It had no effect. He barely heard it." 

Zack took a bigger sip. He let his arm rest on Desperado's. "I'm sorry."

"He never really heard me. He was off with his human lover, and I was just there, alone with strangers, always waiting for him to return…" Desperado's voice was a mix of wistfulness and frustration. 

"You were part of the other kingdom, before the king’s?"

"I… I infiltrated it. For the king. He said I needed to learn how to be their type of fairy… and he wanted to see what they were up to, so."

"That must have been miserable."

Desperado bit his lip. "Sometimes. But the prince was easy to fall for, and I let it happen, and… being in love changes things. It wasn't as bad as it could have been."

Zack reached up to rub Desperado's head in sympathy. His fingers brushed through the flames at the fringes of his mask. 

Wait. Zack's hand wasn't burning. 

"Oh," said Desperado. "That's interesting."

Zack stared at his hand. He pulled gently at the flames and nothing happened. Desperado tilted his head back as if to encourage Zack to continue, so he did. Maybe that felt good to him. 

Zack had seen the king get singed by Desperado's mask before. It wasn't that the fire couldn't hurt someone. It just wasn't hurting Zack right then, for whatever reason. 

"Play me another song," Zack said, before he could lose his courage and go back inside. He just wanted… He wanted a lot of things, but most of all he craved Desperado’s attention. 

Sleep came to Zack as he lay next to a fairy, listening to the light strumming of a summer dance. He woke up the next morning in his bed with no memory of having made his way there. Zack didn’t dare to hope he had been carried back. He must have just lost some of his memories from the night before. Desperado really wasn’t at home when Zack looked for him that time. 

Sometimes, like then, Desperado was gone, off patrolling, or training with the king, or… who knew what else. Zack's mind jumped away from thinking about what Desperado did in the human world now. During those times Zack stayed in the garden and absorbed the residual magic from Desperado there like a cat in the sun. He knew he had to memorize every detail. 

 

“The others have grown curious about you,” the king said one afternoon after their fight. Zack wasn’t sure whether to feel proud or nervous. Well, his body transformations were getting better and better. “It’s time for an introduction.” 

Zack had been waiting all along for this day. After all, knowing the extent of the king's army was important. 

"We'll have a dinner, all together. Make sure you're there with Desperado as soon as the sun begins to set."

And that was all. Zack didn't have time to say anything about what he could eat, the king simply vanished. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but it was certainly frustrating. 

Desperado visibly cringed when Zack told him the news. 

"There should be something I can eat."

"You know this is a test, right?" 

"Of whether I eat things from animals?" 

"No, of whether you can handle yourself around the rest of the… army. They might try to trick you or threaten you. You're not going to be made welcome unless you work for it."

"Ridiculous. I can handle that." Zack scoffed. 

"Good luck telling them to behave." Desperado had laughed when Zack had attempted to scold an insect away from one of his baby plants a couple of days before. 

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

Desperado rolled his eyes, but the mood felt less foreboding already. 

 

They went together and stood in front of the king's section at the front of the house. At first it appeared small and relatively unassuming, but when you stepped into the doorway it became dark and humid and teeming with magic. Droplets of rain hit Zack even though they were indoors. 

Luckily, they weren't the last to arrive. A couple of fairies were already there. Zack looked curiously at Desperado, who stayed beside him rather than immediately greeting them.  
A large table had been set up and covered in utensils and a grand crimson tablecloth.  
One turned around and… Zack recognized him. It was Kanemaru from his town. 

Long before Zack had arrived, he had been a pillar of the community, but then he left for other lands with hatred in his heart. Zack was living there when Kanemaru returned. Everyone thought he was back to normal and full with love for the town once again. 

Of course, Kanemaru soon turned out to be a fairy. He joined one of their attacks with a bursting fountain and disappeared into the night with the rest of them, laughing at jeers from the crowd of people outside their homes. 

“Oh, I know you,” said Kanemaru. “You’re the one who kept getting told off for using magic on the other magicians.” 

“And you’re the one who took advantage of your good reputation and used it to betray us all,” Zack said as evenly as possible. “Cunning.” 

Desperado stood between them awkwardly. 

“You know why I did it? They treated some of my friends terribly, wouldn’t take care of them when they needed it… and they took advantage of me, too. They didn’t see my value. So I decided to be smarter. I met some new people, one who knew my value. I changed myself into the person I wanted to be.”

“And you came back just long enough to graciously show us what we were missing.” 

“Well, not you. You don’t really belong to them either.” 

“Why don’t we sit down and wait for dinner?” Desperado cut in. 

Kanemaru huffed, a mixture of put-upon and amused. 

“You're more like me than you think… you can only hang around fairies for so long before you start to want to become one.”

The other fairy in the room didn’t say anything, just looked Zack over and smirked at him from beneath their striped bangs. Zack made himself hold eye contact. The fairy was very small, but who knew what they had within them. 

Zack let his mind wander as he waited. It was hard not to notice how quiet Desperado was, like he was clamping down on nervousness. When Zack refocused, there was the rest of the army, standing around the table like government officials come to meet him. 

A blonde man came forward first. He reminded Zack of a raven, or a carrion bird. His shirt was very low-cut, showing off most of his chest as he leaned down to shake Zack’s hand. 

“Name's Taichi.” His grip was loose, as if he didn’t care one way or another about the impression he gave. 

A woman came up from behind Taichi and wrapped her arms around his waist. “And I’m Miho! Hello!” Taichi combed his hair back with his fingers. 

“Zack. Nice to meet you.” 

“Taka,” spoke up the man with the striped bangs, not even bothering to look up from what he was fiddling with under the table. 

Zack hadn’t been sure what to expect, but indifferent was better than actively hostile, right? 

Two men, monstrously larger than the others, remained near the door looking him over with beady eyes. 

The moment passed and they moved to their seats, talking and gesturing to each other as if Zack wasn’t there. 

“That’s Archer and Smith. They just need to get to know you,” said Taichi. Desperado snorted. 

On the wall in front of Zack was a painting of the army, plus a tall man with a twinkle in his eye and another with white hair that looked older than the king. They were arranged like a royal family, significant items in hand-- the guitar for Desperado, a cane and opera mask for Taichi, a salivating dog in the arms of one of the large men. 

Drinks appeared in front of them. Then food, a veritable banquet of dishes. Most of them obviously involved meat. It was fine, there would be something. 

“So, is anyone going to tell me what the hell a human is doing at our table?” said one of the large men. Archer, Desperado whispered to him. He was almost fish-like, with greasy hair and a piranha smile. 

Total silence. Everyone’s face was closed off, including the king’s. Zack would have to respond himself. 

He stood up from the table. “Want to fight me and find out?” 

Confidence was always best in these situations, even if it was artificial. Zack focused in on Archer, projecting all of the smallness of a mangled insect onto him. It was tactic the king himself used. If Zack could remove Archer’s mouth altogether, he would have done that instead, but it was a bit beyond his capabilities. 

If anything, Archer pushed himself up bigger at that. “Gladly.” He grinned. “Better get some protein if you want to keep up.” 

Zack sat back down. 

Archer held over a plate of cutlets. Zack often waved his hand over food, using magic to determine whether he could eat it. That wasn’t necessary here. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t accept that.” 

Desperado’s foot pressed against Zack’s under the table, probably trying to warn him off. Zack sent reassuring emotions his way. 

“I’m honored to be at your table, but I’ve already made a vow not to consume things from animals.” 

Archer stared at him for a long few seconds, plate still hovering in the air. Next to him, Smith looked prepared to back up whatever he decided. 

And then he dropped it. “I respect your conviction,” Archer said simply. 

Zack was feeling pretty smug after that, and he made sure Desperado knew it. 

The dinner continued on. 

“What brought you here?” Taka smirked again. “Besides falling down the tunnels.” 

Zack thought he heard Taka whisper to Kanemaru, who was quietly drinking, asking him whether he was sure Zack wasn’t just an enchanted bird Desperado was keeping as a pet. 

“I’m a student at heart. Fighting the king and studying his magic was too good to resist.” 

“Too good to resist…” Miho hid a giggle behind her hand. 

“What?” said Smith, smiling encouragingly. 

“Oh, I’m just thinking of my musician human… She can’t help but throw herself at my feet now. Her muse has drained every last drop of her lovely ideas from her lovely little head...” 

“She died already? She seemed stronger than that,” said Taichi. 

“Oh, no. But she’s very weak. I’m backing off for now so she’ll have time to recharge.” 

Anecdotes about how the fairies enjoyed treating humans were brought up more and more as the dinner went on. 

Apparently Taichi imitated the voices of the dead, made anyone who looked at him wrong see dead neighbors in everyone’s faces, and even revived brainless corpses to do his bidding. 

Then Taichi talked about Iizuka, the fairy chained in the back of the tunnels. He was the best for inspiring pure fear. Taichi went on and on about Desperado running around with Iizuka, struggling to control him and keep him from outright eating people. The tributes to the king might start slowing then. 

Smith liked to appear as a respectable craftsman, luring in customers with promises of the most luxurious materials and toilsome methods, and then transformed into his animalistic ancestors and ran them out. 

“Desperado gives me what I need to brew all kinds of things,” said Kanemaru. “Who better to help you kill crops than someone who loves them?” 

Poison ivy, flooding, nightmares, sacred buildings desecrated… It all brought up a satisfying mix of emotions in the magic that would eventually help them to return home. Humans were just too feeble compared to the fairies they were used to fighting. 

Almost every time they finished they turned their gaze to Zack, a glint in their eyes, as if waiting for him to object. He never did. The more he knew about their favorite tactics, the better. 

"What about you, Zack? Don’t you have any good stories?"

Zack thought about that for a moment. Most of the magic he used on other humans was small and not very painful, as twisted up as everyone got about it when he did it. He was just teasing. And the other times, well, he was just trying to help make peoples’ lives better, or hurt people that deserved it, you couldn’t blame him for that. 

“Most of the other magicians… they focus on the physical. It’s more honorable when everyone can see what you’re doing, right?” 

A flat response. Of course the fairies wouldn’t care about that. 

“Well, one person was the worst about it. They thought everything I did was an absolute joke and I’d be too distracted by their flashy spells to do anything. Their behavior was intolerable. They’d probably have poisoned the rest of the group beyond repair. So I poisoned them. Or rather, I made them feel as if they had some untraceable, terrible disease, one so bad they went away to try to heal it and never bothered us again. You should have seen their moaning. I don't know if they ever recovered. ” 

You weren’t supposed to want to control people. And you certainly weren’t supposed to enjoy it. If Zack was feeling honest... he did anyway. 

Taichi blinked at him. Then a smile spread across his face like a crescent moon. “Well done! I’d toast to that one.” 

The king raised his glass, and the rest of the fairies followed, clinking around the table. Kanemaru caught his eye and then poured more whiskey, drawing it out into the air from the bottle into Zack’s glass. It burned pleasurably down Zack’s throat. 

They poured more and more drinks for Zack, so he kept taking them. 

"He bumped into me, did he expect me not to feel in danger? It was just a little fire."

"Too right."

Zack thought of something hilarious then and had to share it. "I only gave him a little fire, right, so he was only warm for a few hours. But if I had set him on fire, well, he'd be warm for his whole life!" 

It sounded less funny saying it out loud, but everyone laughed anyway. Zack could get used to this. 

Taichi especially was so charming. Apparently he admired the way Zack had handled Archer. Zack ended up chatting with Taichi even after dinner had finished and everyone had started to leave. Desperado lingered at the other side of the room with the king, probably waiting for Zack to finish up so they could go home. Even something as little as the prospect of walking back alone with Desperado made Zack feel like he had a fireplace inside him. 

“You know, it’s a shame you’re stuck living with Desperado.” 

Zack’s insides froze. “What do you mean?” Taichi was probably just joking because he wanted to spend time with Zack too. This powerful person wanted to spend time with him of all people! The punchline was coming. 

“He’s so weird and needy. You must get tired of it, right?” Taichi grimaced sympathetically. “If the king lets you, I would be happy to have you stay with Miho and I, we’re better than that.” 

Taichi's words sounded exactly like the things Zack overheard people saying about him back in his town. 

Zack glanced back at Desperado. In a second he was between them. “I’m ready to get back, are you?” asked Desperado. He didn’t sound like he knew what they had just been talking about. Zack wasn’t sure he wanted to tell him. He had probably already heard enough of it in the past. 

Zack agreed to talk with Taichi another time and finally go their separate ways. 

"Goodnight, sweet brother!" Taichi waved at Desperado and then he was gone. 

These people felt connected to him, somewhat like family even, sure, but Zack didn't want to be their brother. Not Desperado's, anyway. 

That was a quicksand line of thought. Zack was in trouble, wasn't he. The days were growing cooler, anyhow, and he’d be rejoining the humans again soon. 

 

There was a nauseous feeling in the air one night, like grains of sand in your teeth left over from gorging yourself on the desert. It was getting a bit late and Desperado wasn’t home yet. He was probably just in the forest. Still, Zack worried something was happening, especially after he knew how Taichi liked to act around him. Had they gotten into a fight? That was easy to imagine. Zack could try to induce a vision to find out, but then Desperado would know, and it would be uncomfortable… Zack decided to get up and go looking for him instead. He trusted his instincts. 

When he passed the other areas of the home, though, Zack noticed a gaping emptiness. His feet were planted firmly on the ground and yet it was like he was standing on the edge of the cliff. No one seemed to be home. All of the other fairies’ doors felt cold, the vibrancy of their magic mostly absent. 

That is, until Zack reached Taichi and Miho’s home. It bled static that Zack could feel under his fingertips, a warning to stay back and not wander where he didn’t belong. All the lights were on and glowing yellow. Desperado had told him to stay away from here at the start. 

If no one was around, then this would be Zack’s best chance to finally investigate. This could be the key to everything.

Zack slipped under the gates and trailed the edge of the land, looking around for something out of place. He came upon a mausoleum covered in cherubs-- unusual for a fairy. Zack went inside. Candles burned on each wall, and in the center was an ornate staircase, clean as if it was regularly being used. 

Zack went down, down, down the steps…

And found he was back in the human world. Zack could feel the difference in the magic instantly. He stood in an identical mausoleum next to an identical imposing castle, though it was disattached from the larger building that held the rest of the fairy army’s homes. Zack felt his way down the gates and then slid through again. So this was how they had such easy access to the human world. Going through the forest was one thing. It was obvious, and it took a long time to get to the town. But this was ingenious. It was hiding in plain sight, and it attracted plenty of people who had no idea what they were getting into. Just listening to the passing gossip of the townspeople on the street told Zack that the supposed nobles living here were planning a ball that night and inviting people of all classes to join in. How believable. 

Zack wandered through the town, trying to find his old room. He wondered what the purpose of this ball was. Maybe it was simply scouting, or maybe it was finding more people to kidnap. Perhaps they anticipated that the magicians would come and start a fight and planned to leech the energy off of that. But Zack doubted it was the one, the other magicians probably didn’t suspect a thing. He was still going to inform them, though, and they were going to storm the ball tonight. Getting all the top fairies in one place and yet too divided by the crowded event to work as a team, especially now that he already knew their capabilities, was too great an opportunity to pass up. 

Reaching his old room was disheartening. There was nothing left. His space had been cleared out, of course, and there was no record of him ever being there. Half of the people he used to know had already moved out or been evicted. And it had only been about two months, right? 

“What happened to you?” That was the greeting Zack got when we went to the main meeting spot for the magicians. There were only a handful of people hanging around, not nearly as many as Zack had hoped, but it would suffice. “Guess he didn’t die after all.” 

“I infiltrated fairy land.” Zack paused for that to sink in, ready to launch into a summary of his findings. 

“Did you?” The magician snorted. 

Zack wasted too much time trying to convince them and soon enough the sun was setting. Eventually a couple of the magicians agreed to go to the ball, but it seemed like they were more in it for the fun than an expectation that they would be seeing battle. Zack realized that this probably would have been him before he had met the fairies. They liked games. They liked subtlety. They weren’t going to limit themselves to obvious attacks...

It didn’t take much to prepare for the ball. Zack had been through enough situations that required a certain type of dress by now that he could do a passable glamour on his jacket. It lengthened and pressed itself into a sharp blazer. His other clothes became a black shirt and fitted trousers. He was in all black, and perhaps that was a bit plain, but then that was the goal. All the better to get in unnoticed. 

Zack stepped outside. The night was chillier than it would have been even a couple weeks ago. Summer was coming to an end. 

There was no need to feel guilty about what he was doing. Desperado had chosen to be his enemy. Zack’s time with the fairies was about to be over anyway, he had gotten all he could out of the experience. 

By the time Zack arrived back at Taichi and Miho’s home, there were lines of people crowded around waiting to get inside. It was all too easy to confuse a few of them enough to slip into their group and enter without a fuss. Out in line in the grass it had been fairly quiet, but stepping through the doors submerged Zack into an overwhelming cacophony of chattering guests and a brooding waltz that seemed to come from nowhere. The whole place pulsated with magic, from the decorations on the walls that were a mix of religious symbols and shiny objects and parts of animals that might still be alive, to the guests themselves, many of whom were wearing decorative masks over the eyes that reminded Zack of Taichi in the king’s family portrait. 

The rooms were like a maze. It was going to be more difficult to confront the fairies than Zack thought, but that was fine. He could play nice until he saw them. Zack made his way through the guests, smiling and dancing with two women so as to not arouse suspicion, but always watching for hints of the fairies he knew. 

He came upon a room with thin seashell pink curtains, which flew up from the open windows like smoke over the orange velvet and leather covering everything else. That was when someone tapped Zack on the shoulder. A spark shot through him, straight to the heart. 

A few feet behind Zack was one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. His intense eyes, his dark curls, his broad jaw… And there was a single rose pinned to the man’s vest. Heat pooled in Zack’s stomach.

He smiled in greeting and Zack barely remembered himself enough to smile back. Then the man gracefully extended a hand, beckoning him closer. He wanted to dance. 

That was enough to shift Zack’s mind back into place. He took the man’s hand. Zack let himself be walked through the crowd into a more open spot, the man’s palm against his back protecting him from knocking into others in the crowd. 

During his previous dances, Zack had kept half his attention on his partner, and half on examining the people around him, looking for fairies, for disappearances, for signs of a struggle... but now, dancing with this man, all Zack could focus on was his confident movements, the curve of his lips, the way he was holding Zack, warm and assured but not nearly close enough. It was much too loud for them to communicate with words, but they did their best with their body language to guide each other across the room. 

When Zack smiled at the man, his face lit up in return, and it made Zack’s breath catch. The way his attention never strayed from Zack, like he really did care about this dance, was intoxicating. And there was something so comfortable and familiar about him that Zack couldn’t place. It was as if they had held hands in another life, or in a dream, the way they fit so perfectly. That was ridiculous romantic thinking, and yet it passed barely questioned through Zack’s mind nonetheless. Zack wanted to kiss him so badly. 

Then Zack remembered Desperado, that night when Desperado had played for him, and all the others like it, and a phantom wave of longing hit him. His steps faltered a little and the man’s look of alarm was enough to make Zack right himself and carry along. Desperado wasn’t thinking about him right then, so Zack shouldn’t have been thinking about him either. There were clearly other people that could make Zack feel the way Desperado did, he was dancing with one right now! He would enjoy this while it lasted and make the right choice in the end. Of course he wanted to cry when he was dancing with a man this handsome. 

At last they were back where they had found each other. The man spun Zack as their second song ended and then released him. He took a few steps back, bowing almost regretfully. He must have had other people to see. 

So this was it. Zack had made a connection with this man, and now he might never meet him again. What if something happened that night and the man got hurt? 

“Wait! Will you be back?” Zack called over the crowd. 

The man paused for a moment. Brow furrowed, he ran a hand through his hair. It was so thick and wavy. 

At last he turned back and nodded to Zack before disappearing into the crowd once again. Zack sighed in relief. 

It was difficult for Zack to concentrate on his mission now that he was worrying about where the man was and whether he really would come back. Every once in a while someone seemed to be him in the crowd, and Zack was tempted to go over and check, but he didn’t in case that would mean the man saw that Zack’s spot was empty and decided to move on from him. Zack didn't even know this person's name, but somehow seeing him again felt like the most important thing in the world. 

And then he came back. As the man got closer, Zack saw that his hair and the top of his shirt were slightly wet, as if he had splashed water on himself in the restroom. The man tried to say something to him over the crowd and failed, looking frustrated. He tried again, slightly louder but clearly not willing to yell, and Zack still couldn’t understand him. 

Zack came up close to him and pulled him back to the alcove where he had been waiting. It wasn’t much quieter, but that wasn’t what Zack wanted it for it. It was secluded, and if they stood in just the right way, Zack could... “Tell me if this isn’t okay,” Zack said, and then he took a leap of faith and kissed him, tilting about the man’s wet face with his hand. 

The man didn’t kiss back at first. Zack could feel the man’s heart beating wildly against him, and he was about to pull away, his heart feeling like it had just been trampled by from the rejection, but then the man pulled him closer, kissed him deeper, and Zack flooded with relief. The man smiled against Zack’s lips and Zack’s heart fluttered weakly. 

They couldn’t just keep kissing in public, though, so Zack wasn’t surprised when the man broke it and took Zack’s hand to bring him out of the room. The man lead him down long green halls filled with identical marble pillars. Zack couldn't stop kissing him against them and then kept having to pull away to continue. Zack couldn't get enough of the way it felt to tangle his fingers in the man's hair, and the little noises he made when Zack found a sensitive spot on his neck. It was beginning to feel like the halls were endless, but the clock was ticking, and Zack anticipated they would reach where the man had in mind soon. 

They stepped out onto an empty balcony. Zack was a bit confused, but he accepted it. It was almost like being on the roof with Desperado, but with none of the warmth and safety behind the doors, just an oppressive crowd. If Zack closed his eyes, maybe he could imagine that was where he was… 

“So you’re leaving.” It was Desperado’s voice. 

A beat.

Another beat.

He was a complete and utter fool. He had... Had Desperado known how Zack felt and used it against him? Had he known what Zack was about to do, and... 

Zack pushed himself out of the man’s arms, looking around for some explanation that didn't break this moment, but he knew. The man pulled something out of his pocket. It was a skull mask with flaming tips. 

Zack had been dancing with Desperado all along. Zack had kissed Desperado. 

What he had been longing for, that whole time, was what he had just gotten. And it was about to be gone forever. The near autumn breeze attested to that, if the rest of their situation didn’t. 

There was a reason it was a longing and until then, hadn’t been a reality. They were enemies. It didn't matter how much Zack had grown to care for Desperado. How much Desperado seemed to care for Zack. None of it mattered. Zack shivered violently. 

“Am I... going to have to fight you?” Desperado said softly. His lips were swollen and he was still blushing all the way down his neck. “I’m sorry, I tried to tell you, and then… things just progressed… Once I saw you here, I knew I had to distract you, so I asked you to dance, and... “ He looked down, and his hair fell around his face. "It was all instinct, and when I tried to let things go I couldn't do it." 

So this was what Desperado looked like under his mask. This what he looked like when he was worried. 

Zack realized he hadn’t seen a million different parts of Desperado yet. 

“I don’t want to fight you,” said Zack. Even if Desperado had been trying to stop Zack from getting in the way of the fairies... could Zack really blame him? 

"But you're leaving now." Desperado met his eyes now, but his mind felt utterly dejected to Zack. And you hate me, was the message Zack felt. 

It didn't matter if they were enemies. Desperado shouldn't feel that way. How could Zack have done that? 

Zack swiped a hand over his sweaty forehand despairingly. It was clear now, wasn't it. What did he want more? Did he want to... stick to some mission, or did he want to be with Desperado, to be allowed to care about him? The king and his army would move on after they released the banishment and the humans would forget about them, all except for Zack left alone in the same place he started. And Desperado would have no one to stand up for him, and no one to share his garden. 

“I’m not leaving you.” Zack said finally. 

“What?” Desperado's voice was barely a whisper. 

Zack stepped closer to Desperado. He felt shaky, so Zack did his best to project calm. They were pressed against the railing again, but this time they weren’t drunk at all. 

“I'm done with... my adventure story. I’m not going to defend humans that don’t even care about me if it means hurting someone who does. After summer I'm staying. If you'll have me.” Zack put his arms around Desperado, in something close to a hug, and realized he was close to crying. “I want to do this again. The kissing, I mean, not the… questioning whether we’re allowed to see each other again and getting upset." 

“I want that too much,” Desperado said back. Zack was almost surprised Desperado wasn't questioning his choice, but now that he had said it, it seemed obviously right. Desperado's arms slowly came around Zack, as if he was afraid Zack would drop him the moment he committed. 

“You can have it.” Zack pressed his face into Desperado's neck and breathed in the scent of roses. 

"I should have said it a while ago, but... I do care for you. It scares me how quickly it happened," said Desperado. Zack remembered what had happened to him with the fairy prince and flooded with sympathy. It made complete sense that Desperado would be hesitant. 

"Me too." Zack sighed. "You know, just because of you I started to dread summer ending." 

The boom of an explosion shook the balcony. 

Zack and Desperado pulled apart and looked down at the grounds underneath them. Magicians ran around for cover, shooting magic. They hadn’t believed Zack at first, and yet here they were. 

Desperado hesitantly kissed Zack on the side of his mouth. Zack could feel his nervousness. Desperado was probably wondering if the gig was up and Zack was about to join in with the magicians now. He wasn't. Zack kissed him again, stroking Desperado's scalp. Then, when he had to take a breath, he flung a ring of fire down to trap one of the magicians. The magician cursed loudly as sparks and blinding smoke flew around him. 

It startled a laugh out of Desperado. “That was you.” 

“It was,” Zack said slyly. 

Desperado gently pulled Zack's hands off of him and stepped away. Was he about to enter the fray? Zack frowned and tried to reach for him again. 

"Take off your jacket," said Desperado. 

“Why?” Doing that would give up all of Zack’s magical power. He wasn’t a fairy, he needed an item to channel it just like other humans, so he didn't ever feel fully comfortable without his jacket. 

“Just trust me.” 

And Zack did trust Desperado. His instincts were humming and anticipative, somehow not lurching at the danger of the battle below them. Zack slid off his jacket and placed it on the ground next to him. 

Desperado took his hand and then opened it again. Inside Zack's palm was a small blue flame. 

On impulse, Zack tried to strengthen it, the way he would with his jacket on. It spread across his whole arm. Transfixed, Zack started another flame in his other hand, and spread that too, and then made them a mix of colors, a kaleidoscope of flames dancing along his bare skin. 

Desperado slid his arms loosely around Zack’s neck and kissed his head. Zack burned with delight. He wasn't resisting it anymore. 

“You’re one of us now.”

**Author's Note:**

> for the first... at least half of the writing time, i worked on an entirely different fic for this exchange. then i realized i was totally unqualified to write it, at least not without more research than i had time for, so i switched to this. and then because i was so stressed out, i didnt see how out of character this was until it was too late? lmao? and i have to send something, so. i hope this is still enjoyable in spite of its flaws. if it were up to me id completely rewrite this before publishing it, but thats not an option.
> 
> i cannot overstate how indebted i am to my friend who helped me and encouraged me every step of the way. you know who you are, thank you!! also, lots of thanks to another friend who gave me advice on what to do at the end of this. honestly think i might just be too mentally ill for exchanges like this. 
> 
> bloopers:
> 
> All the while, Zack was steadily making progress in his sessions with the king. 
> 
> “Come on. Touch it.” The tentacle was almost the size of his arm now. 
> 
> Desperado held himself back dubiously. 
> 
> “I’m not going to hurt you, you’re being silly.” 
> 
> “That’s not what I’m concerned about. It’s just weird.”
> 
>  
> 
> Zack had betrayed his fellow humans and fallen in with the fairies who had been attacking them for so long, mostly because he developed a crush on one of them. Zack just couldn't help being a Gemini!


End file.
